br3nda

Heated Rivalry is on this year's Canada Reads longlist.

So, at long last, I finally have an email address associated with My New Academic Position (this has been A Saga to do with their system upgrade).

I have also achieved reader's card for library of former workplace (spat out from the bowels of their system with A Very Old Photo of Yrs Truly).

And went and looked at the items I wanted to check, and found that lo, I was right and they did NOT have anything pertinent, as I had in fact hoped they would not. Though I had hoped to look, for another thing, at a couple of closed stack items and discovered that these cannot be ordered on a day's notice INFAMY I am sure I recall the times when there were regular deliveries throughout the day. Not actually critical, but irksome. (Also irksome was that I moaned about this on bluesky and got various responses that had no relevance at all to research libraries, in the UK, in particular this one.)

I then managed to get a digital passport photo at one of the photobooths on Euston station and have applied for a new passport, as mine is well out of date and I seem to keep seeing things that want 'government ID' to verify WHO I AM (over here, making like Hemingway....) so thought this was probably the way to go.

Also this is a trivial thing but in the course of my perambs of the day I walked past the statue of Trim, and his human.

In the niggles department, I did that thing of putting my phone down in place I never usually put it and flapping about trying to find it.

The lockers at the library have really annoying electronic locks.

Printer playing up a bit again. Though I think this really is that one has to let it mutter and sulk for a bit between turning it on and actually trying to print anything.

It's been a whole adventure watching Heated Rivalry go mainstream (for once I can claim I was a fan before it was cool!). I turned on Radio 2 in a hire car on Tuesday evening and the presenter was talking about it. Half the UK ice hockey clubs are making social media posts riffing off the show, or at minimum using music from it in their updates.

But it's also more complicated. Zach Sullivan, one of the very very few out queer professional male hockey players in the world, made an Instagram post a few days ago, about how conflicted he feels about the show. Well worth a read if you have time. Heated Rivalry is a romantic fantasy, the hockey aspects are often wrong, and I agree with Zach that I'm not at all sure the enthusiasm over the show is making things better for closeted male players right now. (I hope it will in the long term, but I worry about the harm right now.)

Also, I am developing a visceral loathing for the phrase "boy aquarium" for hockey rinks.

1. it's gross
2. it's not just boys (men) who play ice hockey
3. please stop sexualising the spaces where people play and get changed

That last point: I play with two mixed (male-dominated) teams, I get changed in the same room as the men, and because my teams are not gross and the changing room is not a sexualised space, I feel safe doing so. If I changed separately, I would miss out on a whole load of the team connection and conversation, all the stuff that creates a team out of a bunch of people who turn up in the same place each week. So I stay and change with my team, and it's not a big deal, and I don't want people to make it a big deal.

What I read

Finished I Used to Be Charming: The Rest of Eve Babitz, though will cop to only skimming the final section 'Fiorucci: the Book' (1980) about which I was a bit WTF? and 'what was she on?'

Over the weekend saw a review somewhere of the latest work by Madeleine Gray speaking well of her first novel Green Dot (2024) so thought I might see what it was like, especially as it was at a very reasonable price on Kobo - gave up about a third or so in. Did not care about the narrator or her situation.

A bit of sortes e-reader (inadvertently opening a book) started a supernatural thriller but I couldn't work out whether it was part of a series and I was supposed to know who these characters and their predicament were, or whether I was supposed to work it out over chapters jumping back and forward over time and didn't feel grabbed. May return because that might be me?

Dick Francis, Risk (1977), where I realised I have recently identified a Francis pattern such that I could finger a certain character very early on as likely to be implicated in bad stuff going down.

On the go

Have been dipping into Timothy d'Arch Smith, The Stammering Librarian (2025), some further collected essays, including one on a person of research interest, and a rather fun Anthony Powell parody.

Dick Francis, The Edge (1988), which is the one involving a lush train journey, with additional Staged Murder Mystery, across Canada (reverse direction to the way I did it).

Up next

Well, the local history society publications in which I was interested have been ordered and have arrived.

Another belated Inkvent post for swatch Wednesday! I didn’t bother doing inkvent posts in December because of the move, and in theory now that some of our stuff has arrived I could probably be unpacking instead of blogging about ink. But our stuff got separated into two shipments and a lot of the furniture is on the second truck, and in some cases we have bookshelves but no actual shelves so they’re unusable for unpacking. Oh well. We don’t have an ETA yet on the second half of stuff so we’re doing what we can.

And in the meantime, here’s some ink swatches!

Day 13: Molten Basalt. Grey with a reddish sheen. Normally I’m not a huge fan of greys because they’re either dark enough to mostly look black in practice, or they’re light enough that they’re kind of annoying to read without bringing much joy to my writing. (I like saturated colours!) But the sheen is enough to make this one interesting, and I like the name.

Day 14: Mittens. Hot pink pigment ink. I have no idea what could possibly call for waterproof Barbie pink ink in my life, but I love how saturated and unapologetic the colour looks. This one didn’t stain as badly as Brr! did but I was also a bit more careful about soaking the brush a few seconds after I was done using it.

Day 15: Frostbite. Dark blue with loads of copper shimmer. It looks a bit gold in the picture but its more coppery to my eye. This one’s very pretty and I’d like to see how it does in a pen where the shimmer is likely to be toned down a bit so you can actually appreciate the base colour.

Day 15: Ruby Taffeta. Red with iridescent green shimmer. For some reason the camera picks this up more as a silver but it’s noticeably green to my eyes in real life. This is the red of my dreams, exactly the red I’ve wanted and I’m almost mad that it’s got shimmer because it’s such a perfect red. (Look, I bonded with red pens during my stint as an editor, okay?) This will absolutely get used but it’s gonna be really tempting to not bother stirring it up and using it without the shimmer. Not that the shimmer is bad, but the slightly greenish iridescence isn’t what I would have chosen to go with such a glorious red. If anyone knows of a match for this colour without the shimmer, let me know!

Overall: I love all of these. Ruby Taffeta is probably my favourite, but Molten Basalt may get inked up more often due to the lack of shimmer. I do have some pinks similar to Mittens but they’re not pigment inks so it’s really a different beast. And the rest are all pretty different to what I had before!

Today would have been my mother's 79th birthday. It's been 3.5 years, I still miss her.

Her sister, my aunt, is in hospital following a stroke last week, and not expected to recover. My cousins are on their way to Australia (possibly there by now) and hoping to arrive in time to say goodbye.

I walked to work this morning in a downpour with angsty-sad music in my headphones, and let myself cry it out while no-one was watching. In the last few minutes of my walk, the sun briefly shone through the clouds, and the music algorithm played me something more upbeat. I took in the moment of beauty, and walked on.

At which I was able to make a couple of minor contributions.

Reason why serving soldiers a very small statistical minority in divorce statistics pre-1914 (post then increased massively....): there were huge restrictions on how many could marry 'on the strength' so there were fairly few actually married in the first place. Mi knowinz on this partly from Victorian fiction (I think it features in one of Charlotte Yonge's) but mostly from Being A Historian who had to do with the Contagious Diseases Acts.

Also able to make some comments apropos of preserving archives of relevant organisations and the problems of digital records.

A lot of oh dear less change than one would like to imagine took place over time in matters of divorce, family disruption, domestic abuse, gendered assumptions, etc etc: but also, a sense that, in fact Back in The Past when women may not have had much agency, they were nevertheless using what they could get, e.g. separation law, protection orders, and various legal intricacies.

Also wondered how far they were able to manipulate (or the law was actually based on) certain patriarchal assumptions, which is what I found when reviewing book by one of the major contributors - i.e. that deserting husbands were falling down on doing patriarchy like they should, bad boy, no more right of coverture if your wife goes through a fairly cheap and simple legal procedure, post-1857.

Also there was a lot of archive love going on!

I mentioned that I was reading Dream Count for an intended new in-person book group of fairly local people connected through being (mostly) women historians (most of) whom I already know.

The gathering to discuss Dream Count was yestere'en in Highgate, at a destination to which there is a bus service from the nearby main road, though on Sunday evenings the service is a little more sporadic than habitual and I arrived a bit early, even after some difficulty finding the house in question. (Serious FAIL by local residents to actually have house numbers visible, ahem, not helped by several houses actually being nos XX-YY which adds to the confusion and in fact I ended up going to the wrong house first.)

However, once I got there it was agreeable to see auld acquaintance and talk of how things had been going -

- I am not entirely persuaded that having a sit-down at a table supper was actually a great idea, or maybe that was just me who had not all that long ago had a large late lunch.

Discussion of actual book did not get started for some while. Everybody seemed to have a rather mixed response, though it did, at least, provide a basis for discussion along several directions.

Future plans to meet at 6 week intervals - not to have full dinner party (relief!)* - next book will be Anna Funder's Wifedom about Eileen Orwell (already have the ebook yay).

Kind lift not all the way home but to useful point with lots of buses from Our Hostess.

*Snacks instead - should I take foccacia and Famous Aubergine Dip? Y/N

This week's bread: a loaf of Marriages's Moulsham Strong Malted Seeded Bread Flour, v nice.

Friday night supper: the sorta-nasi goreng with Calabrian salami.

Saturday breakfast rolls: eclectic vanilla, turned out quite well, but even though I upped the amount of vanilla extract, not very vanilla-y.

Today's lunch: sweet potato gratin thing, with some quite decent tapenade, served with Dharamjit Singh's spinach.

Honestly, we thought better of the Finns, being told how amazing a society they have: How would you feel if your therapist’s notes – your darkest thoughts and deepest feelings – were exposed to the world? For 33,000 Finnish people, that became a terrifying reality While the guy involved seems to have been an absolute horror from a young age in terms of hacking exploits, doxxing and swatting people, etc, we also note that there was actually criminal negligence brought against the company holding the patient data, which sounds a bit grim in terms of regulatory procedures and oversight.

***

This is very peculiar, because you see 'catfishing' and you think it's about monetary fraud, but that didn't seem to be at stake here: How a friend request led a beauty queen to uncover Scotland's most prolific catfish:

[T]hey were all left wondering why she did it. "All of us were pretty much left with no answers whatsoever," Abbie says.

***

Now, this is creepy: Manager of women’s football club banned for 12 years after bombarding players with indecent images:

Hamilton denied 24 FA charges of improper conduct, all relating to his time in charge of the club, but an independent regulatory commission concluded that 23 of the 24 were proven. The FA received evidence from four players and a staff member, all of whom detailed examples of Hamilton trying to elicit sexual activity between May 2022 and November 2024.
....
The commission also noted “with sadness” that one of the victims appeared to blame herself, and that more broadly the complainants “feared the consequences of complaining and that it would impact on their chances of being selected”, adding: “Worst of all, some of them somehow felt that it might be their fault.”

***

Dining across the divide - this week it's the Grand Canyon - not yet online - because one of the parties is a Yaxley-Lennon fanboy.

***

And this is just a minor thing that agitated the niggles and peeves when it crossed my line of sight earlier today, but if you are writing a historical novel about the first women at the University of Oxford I really don't expect it to be set in the 1920s. That was when they were first, finally, awarded degrees. They'd been studying there much longer, over 40 years.

I'd like to think, yeah, still got it, but I wouldn't be surprised if they were desperately scratching around for somebody who'd even heard the name of the author of once-renowned and now pretty well forgotten, except by specialists in the field, sex manual. Which has its centenary this year.

Anyway, have been approached by a journo to talk with them about this work and its author -

- on which it is well over 2 decades since I did any work, really, but I daresay I can fudge something up, at least, I have found a copy of the work in question and the source of my info on the individual, published in 1970. Not aware of any more recent work ahem ahem. The Wikipedia entry is a stub.

My other issue is that next week is shaping up to be unwontedly busy - I signed up for an online conference on Tuesday, and have only recently been informed that the monthly Fellows symposium at the institution whereof I have the honour to be a Fellow is on Wednesday - and I still have that library excursion to fit in -

- plus arranging a call is going to involve juggling timezones.

Still, maybe I can work in my pet theme of, disjunction between agenda of promoting monogamous marriage and having a somewhat contrary personal history....

This is being one of those weeks when I'm not sure if Mercury is in retrograde or in the opposite of retrograde, if there is an opposite.

In that some things are going unwontedly smoothly and unexpectedly well, and other things not, and plans being thwarted, etc.

E.g., further to the expeditious renewal of my library membership, I was going to boogy on down to the relevant institution to pick up my card and do a spot of light research (I think I may have copies of the books I need to look at but they are not in any of the places where I would anticipate them to be). However, it is chucking down rain in buckets, I think I will leave this until a drier day. Dangers untold and hardships unnumbered is one thing, sitting around with wet shoes in an airconditioned reading room is another.

However, in connection with the research, I remembered that Elderly Antiquarian Bookdealer/Bibliographer had mentioned to me a Person who has come up as Of Interest, and I thought I would see whether they are still around, and apparently they are at the latest report though nearly 90. And not only that, last year, why was I not told, there was published a limited edition from a small press of various of their uncollected writings, including an essay on the very person. This is something I would have bought anyway had I known it existed.

And lo and behold, I ponied up for this hardback, limited edition etc: and got a massively discounted price in their winter sale calloo callay.

On the prehensile tail, I managed to break a soup bowl at lunchtime. Fortunately not containing any soup.

I am currently ill with my third cold since November. This is very boring, I am blaming uni open ice on Monday with all the students returned to Cambridge from all over the world. I am trying a radical new approach of "stop working, go to bed, do nothing but rest and hydrate and breathe steam at regular intervals". Attempting to push through the last two colds this winter just led to being subpar for days on end and missing a lot of hockey practice, and I really, really don't want that again.

The one hip bruise healed up enough by Saturday night that I could return to sleeping on that side, phew; the other is still making itself known, and is going a truly remarkable range of colours. (me to fanf: do you want to see my epic bruise? fanf: absolutely not)

Our trusty Pointer standard bike (not the cargo bike) failed catastrophically in December. fanf took it to the bike shop for assessment: minimum £350 to repair, it cost £500 new, lo these many years ago, a new bike of similar quality would be £700 now. We thought about it for a bit, and eventually I said Vimes boots theory also applies to bikes and so we'll order the good bike and hope it lasts at least another 15 years.

Warbirds (or Tri-Base 2 I guess these days) had a game in Peterborough Saturday night, and my teammate who lives nearby kindly drove me up, and gave me the cultural experience of visiting a huge Eastern European supermarket near the rink. We lost, again, but the bench atmosphere was good, the opponents were fun to play against, and I was reasonably happy with my play.

I joked in the car about Tony buying an expensive bike as soon as I left the country, and teammate said "uh, can't you use Cycle to Work?" and it turns out yes I can, and in fact the whole process was very straightforward. So now we'll pay for this bike in ten monthly instalments from my salary which brings tax savings but is also way easier to budget. The actual bike hasn't arrived yet, which is leading to some interesting logistics around work and school and who is where with what bike, but this too shall pass.

I may, or may not, be playing a game on Saturday for the uni. It's a challenge game against UCL, with players from both Womens Blues and Huskies, but there are way more players available than needed and the roster is still not out (eh, students). I hope I can kick this cold by then; if I'm not playing I'll do game ops as usual.